The Batman Review: Cash for Toys (S3E09)

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Original Airdate: February 4, 2006
Writer: Steven Melching
 Anthony Chun

“Hello, boys and girls. Are you ready for a story? Of course you are.”


“People tell such mean little lies about me and my colleagues, here in Metropolis. That we’re has-beens. That we’re cannon fodder. That we’re not fit to get coffee for those posers in Gotham-


Ahem. Let’s begin.”


“Once upon a time, there was a clever old man who made the best toys in the world. And like any clever man, he had a dream: to take that big blue spoilsport down a peg.”


“This was easier said than done, of course, but the clever old man had time. More importantly, he could adapt.”


“And so it was that one Toyman became a few – became a slew – more. Some aimed big…”


“… while others aimed small…”


Hiro Okamura
“And others still broke no laws at all.”*

… ngh…

“That’s the real game, you see. Adapt. Adapt into a buffoon, a Norman Bates wannabe, a goodytwoshoes, whatever keeps people remembering. Adapt or get scrapped.”

… w-where…?

“And on one blustery September day, children across America saw the greatest, cleverest, bestest adaptation of-“

Where the hell am I?

“Ah, you’re awake. Did you enjoy your Brushable Princess Luna™ with Real Sleepytime Action?”

I… wh… I was going to hawk it on eBay! Now get me down from here!

“Oh no. No no no no no no noooooo. Not until every little boy and girl understands how badly this episode mangled Toyman’s name. My name!”

Uh… yeah, that’s nice and everything, but you’re not in this episode.

“… what?”

The guy in this episode is Toymaker. You show up in Season 5.

 batman the batman imdb GIF
Do you doubt the words of the almighty IMDB?


“… well, screw this. I gotta Justice League movie to audition for. You’re on your own, chump.”

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